9 Fights You Should Be Having: New article at Redbook

Wise Readers,

Research has shown that all couples—happy and not—have conflict.  But there are many fights we might wish to avoid.  Even so, here are at least nine fights that are worth having (and my first appearance at Redbook).  Asking you to “enjoy” might be a bit strong.  But these conflicts can smooth out the rest of your relationship!

http://www.redbookmag.com/life/advice/g3348/fighting-relationships-marriage-advice/

Stepmonsters: Setting boundaries and understanding motivations in a stepfamily (Stepmarriage Q&A)

Wise Readers, What if it’s the biodad who’s giving his kids an easier time? How can you save your marriage even if he won’t get on the same Team? Bioparents and biokids need alone-time—but why might stepdad/stepkid alone-time be dangerous? What if you know you don’t like the kid—should you get married anyway? Is there an evolved psychology behind Evil Stepmothering? How long does it take to make Steps feel like Family? And how many baggages can you carry? Read on!

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Stepmarriages: Keeping love alive when they’re somebody else’s kids

Dear Duana, I love my wife, but we argue about how to discipline her kids; she often sides with them in front of me, and they’ve learned I have no traction. I feel like I’m last in Anna’s affections and priorities. I don’t want to give up—but I won’t live with brats who’ve got their mom’s backing. Dear Scott, Just two years into a stepmarriage, most men are no longer supervising, disciplining or interacting much at all with the stepkids. And the divorce rate is literally 50% higher for remarriages with kids. Don’t give up; step up. Here’s how to save your marriage—and what to avoid.

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Q&A from "Momma's Boys"

Dear Duana, I’m tired of being called a Momma’s Boy. Yes, I do live with my mother at age 35, but only because I had some setbacks and needed to return to school. Women won’t cut me any slack, though. Why can’t they see that I’m improving myself and besides that, I’m nice to my mom, so I’ll be nice to them, too?

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Q&A from "Staying Together For The Kids?"

Wise Readers, What if Stuart and Jeffrey were Stella and Jill—would having two moms who were looking for extra-relational love be even worse for household stability than two dads doing same? Would buying houses near each other allow Stuart and Jeffrey to protect their kids’ stability while looking for love elsewhere? And when is it a good idea to get a divorce for the children’s sake? Read on!

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