Q&A from “WHEN OPPOSITES ATTRACT: Happily or Crabbily Ever After?”

Wise Readers, If opposites attract, why is similarity so much easier? And what can be done to convince your head *and* heart that his/her personality isn’t…personal? How accurate are we at discerning our own personality? Would others know our type? What about introverts with extroverts, or worriers with calm people—how does that work? And…what if your Opposite is just plain mean and disrespectful to you? Read on! Cheers, Duana

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WHEN OPPOSITES ATTRACT: Happily or Crabbily Ever After?

Dear Duana,I love my husband, but I’m demonstrative and affectionate and affirming, and Sean…isn’t. Is there any research about opposites attracting, or whether complementary personalities can cause more problems than they solve? Dear Nina, Sounds like you’ve got a classic Gap going on—where one person prefers soul-searching intimacy, and the other prefers that when he said he loves you (at your wedding), that should stand for the Remainder Of Time. Common in male-female relationships, I suspect the Gap is often based in a specific personality pairing you and Sean may have…

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The Fisher Personality Test: Do Opposites Attract?

Wise Readers, In response to your many queries, we’ll soon be addressing whether and when *opposites* might attract…and whether they can remain together happily as a complementary pair where each completes the other—or whether the dishes suffer over-much in a union where there’s more friction than function. Which means it’s time to find out what your personality type is—and whether you are now, or have ever been with, someone whose personality differs substantively from your own…

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Q&A from “Hard-To-Get? Mating-Centrism and Other Pitfalls of Early Dating”

Do all men live in hierarchy—seeking status and needing cues of elusiveness to emotionally connect? Are some guys scared off or disgusted by women who are hard-to-get? What happens if you’ve got dates with two different guys on a weekend—and they ask what you’re doing when not with them? Is H2G the same thing as Being A Bitch? Is it possible to be *too* hard-to-get? And what if you want to learn to be H2G—but aren’t sure you can? Read on!

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Hard-To-Get? Mating-Centrism and Other Pitfalls Of Early Dating

Dear Duana, I’m a therapist with a question about my client, “Suzy”. After just three weeks of dating “Steve”, she’s already refusing to see others, but he hasn’t said anything about their being exclusive. I know this is the wrong strategy for finding a good man, but I don’t know what to tell her about why, and what she should say and do instead. Any advice? Dear Therese, You’re absolutely right. If she wants anything long-term later, Suzy needs to keep dating others now, and more than that—she needs to say so to Steve. But I’ll bet Suzy doesn’t see it that way. She probably thinks dating others will turn Steve away, feels dishonest about dating around, wants to avoid hurting his feelings by showing him a clear path ahead, and hopes that by showing early commitment, she can influence Steve to reciprocate. Unfortunately, that’s wrong x 4.

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