Secrets & Lies: Can you have an affair and still be a good mate?

Can someone be married and be a good partner and have an affair on the side?

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How To Forgive *Yourself* (when you really screwed up/around)

Dear Duana, I’m living with horrible guilt for an affair that ended four years ago. My wife forgave me, but I still feel like scum. Please tell me how to forgive myself. And please don’t hate me. Dear Ryan,I don’t hate you—not at all. But I wonder if you do, and whether we should both hate guilt. How do you cast that burden aside and move forward with a clean heart?

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How To Forgive An Affair (He Won't Admit)

Following my recent tip-off about Henry’s two-year infidelity with a colleague, he ceased contact with Anne, joined me in therapy, and apologized for endangering our marriage. But he won’t admit he had an affair, or tell me anything about it! He insists Anne was “just a good friend” he never mentioned because he didn’t want me upset. Well, I’m beyond upset. Why is the truth so hard for him to tell? And (how) can I forgive him—for my sanity and our unity and our family?

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Q&A from “How To Forgive An Affair (He Won’t Admit)”

Why is affair betrayal a Much Bigger Deal to most of us than other betrayals? Don’t cheaters cheat again? What happens when parents tell kids about their affair(s)? And why doesn’t forgiving mean forgetting? Read on!

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How To Forgive An Affair (He Won’t Admit)

My husband admits he endangered our marriage, but insists he never had an affair—his two-year secret sweetie was “just a good friend”! Why is the truth so hard for him to tell? And (how) can I forgive him—for my sanity and our unity and our family? Dear Katherine, People don’t jeopardize their life’s foundation for “just a good friend”…yet forgiveness is *the norm* even among the betrayed spouses of sex addicts…

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