Her Cheatin’ Heart: Infidelity’s aftermath

Dear Duana, Two years ago, my wife’s wandering attention prompted me to scope phone records, where I found many lengthy calls to another man. Although she claims it was only emotional, my gut says otherwise…Do I divorce her, or is there some way to quit feeling so jealous and angry, forgive her and prevent this from happening again? Dear Tristan, As Dr. David Buss says, eliminating your jealousy “…would be like smashing a smoke alarm to solve the problem of a house fire. Successful coping requires dealing with the fire.” You sensed emotional heat at a minimum—and perhaps a full-on sexual blaze. And you stopped it. But what now?…

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Comments from “Write About Your Love, build a virtuous cycle”

Guest author Jena Pincott’s column about research on the benefits of writing about one’s beloved generated these interesting topics: Journaling as a way to handle emotions about grief and other (non-romantic) relationships; whether both members of a couple have to journal for both to benefit from it; whether instant messaging can kindle feelings of love as well as journaling does; whether journaling might lead to better sex; and how acting all mushy can create happier couples even when they weren’t happy before. Enjoy!

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"Write About Your Love", Build A Virtuous Cycle

Wise Readers, This week, please welcome science writer Jena Pincott, whose fascinating blog and book Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes? were referenced in last week’s post. May you enjoy it as I do— and see you next week for more Love Science. Cheers, Duana “Let go and explore your very deepest emotions and thoughts about your relationship.” That’s what psychologists told their study subjects to do, in a journal or diary, for twenty minutes a day. They had a theory that writing about a lover could make love last longer…

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Dealing With Your Difficult Man

Dear Anna, Your core question is one for the ages: Can you change a man? We’ve all been told it’s impossible. But we’ve been shown that a woman’s job is to treat men like grapes, stomping them until they’ve metamorphosed into worthy dinner companions. Science finds a truth quite opposite this cultural show-n-tell. In fact, You Can Change A Man. Just not with criticism. Now that I’ve got your attention…here’s how.

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Texting Your Breakup? Whether, When, How, Why

Dear Duana, I just found an article that says Saudi men can now use text messaging to divorce their wives. Just send the words “I divorce you” three times, and the marriage is finished. Okay, we’re not quite that bad here, but I think we’ve gone overboard with reliance on technology to do things that really should be done in person. What do you know about this? And what’s the right way to break up, if there is one? Matt

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