photo by Audrey Alberthal
Wise Readers, Affairs: They’re common. But forgivable—how? Many of you have asked. And next week, I’ll answer. For now, though, it can help if you first see where you stand. So please take three questionnaires and write me in the morning…
Wise Readers, Refusing or seeking a mate because of smell: It’s normal for women. But readers were left with questions: Do people with specific genetic profiles choose specific kinds of colognes? Why do men fall in love using their eyes—women, their noses? What if someone rich, powerful and good-looking stinks—can women overlook (oversmell?) that? And what role do factors like anti-depressants, age, diet and sexual orientation play in smell and sexual attraction? Read on! Cheers, Duana
Wise Readers, Prevailing cultural wisdom says unhappy couples should divorce for the sake of the kids; adultery is always a good reason for divorce; and couples who are unhappy will usually stay that way. Yet science has disproven these ideas. Is there a need for divorce—and if so, when? Do men and women cheat for the same reasons? Which aspects of an affair are the least forgivable for women versus men? And what do real-life women say about their affairs? Read on!
Dear Duana, Two years ago, my wife’s wandering attention prompted me to scope phone records, where I found many lengthy calls to another man. Although she claims it was only emotional, my gut says otherwise…Do I divorce her, or is there some way to quit feeling so jealous and angry, forgive her and prevent this from happening again? Dear Tristan, As Dr. David Buss says, eliminating your jealousy “…would be like smashing a smoke alarm to solve the problem of a house fire. Successful coping requires dealing with the fire.” You sensed emotional heat at a minimum—and perhaps a full-on sexual blaze. And you stopped it. But what now?…
Although a recent Time magazine column made it sound as if friending an old flame on Facebook was just as likely to produce boredom as passion, you and I now know otherwise. Do all old flames represent a threat—or is there a profile for dangerous liaisons? How do married folks handle trust in an e-dominated world? What’s the divorce rate of reunited lost lovers who marry one another? Does jealousy serve any good purpose? How can you find a trustworthy mate—and affair-proof your own relationship? Do affairs “just happen”—or are they usually planned? And if you’re already in a quandary with a Lost Lover, where can you turn for help? Read on!
Share Article Print Article Permalink tagged Affair Prevention, Affair Recovery, Affairs, Divorce, First Love / Young Love, Marriage, Rekindling, Sexuality, Technology In Relationships