Affairs & Forgiveness & You, oh my

Wise Readers, Affairs: They’re common. But forgivable—how? Many of you have asked. And next week, I’ll answer. For now, though, it can help if you first see where you stand. So please take three questionnaires and write me in the morning…

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Comments from "Her Cheatin' Heart: Infidelity's Aftermath"

Wise Readers, Prevailing cultural wisdom says unhappy couples should divorce for the sake of the kids; adultery is always a good reason for divorce; and couples who are unhappy will usually stay that way. Yet science has disproven these ideas. Is there a need for divorce—and if so, when? Do men and women cheat for the same reasons? Which aspects of an affair are the least forgivable for women versus men? And what do real-life women say about their affairs? Read on!

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Comments from “Why Not To Look Up That Old Flame On Facebook; Or, How To Wreck A Perfectly Good Marriage”

Although a recent Time magazine column made it sound as if friending an old flame on Facebook was just as likely to produce boredom as passion, you and I now know otherwise. Do all old flames represent a threat—or is there a profile for dangerous liaisons? How do married folks handle trust in an e-dominated world? What’s the divorce rate of reunited lost lovers who marry one another? Does jealousy serve any good purpose? How can you find a trustworthy mate—and affair-proof your own relationship? Do affairs “just happen”—or are they usually planned? And if you’re already in a quandary with a Lost Lover, where can you turn for help? Read on!

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Why Not To Look Up That Old Flame On Facebook; or, How To Wreck A Perfectly Good Marriage (REVISED)

About 25% of us have one: A Lost Love from our youth who didn’t become our forever mate. And it’s only natural to wonder whatever happened to them. But for the married among us, it may be best to keep those musings to ourselves. This post—the first and most popular at Love Science—is updated per new data from paramount Lost Lovers researcher Dr. Nancy Kalish. Fascinating new details are here, but they only strengthen the core message: Unless you’re single, divorced or widowed—don’t look up that old flame on Facebook.

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When First Love Is True Love: Re-Igniting The Old Flame

As science would have it, the best decision could well be returning to your first love. In fact, Dr. Nancy Kalish, expert on reunited relationships and author of a research-based book, “Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and fantasies of rekindled romances”, has interviewed thousands of lovers who re-established contact with a former flame. Although a few re-connections crash and burn, almost 80% of rekindled first loves passionately burn for a lifetime of happiness. So, Kalish’s research predicts that yes, your love with your first boyfriend is realistic, and yes, you could remain blissfully happy with him for a lifetime—IF you fit a certain profile.

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