Bullcrit: Fifty Shades Of Gr, um...Evolutionary Psychology
Dear Duana,
I’d like to hear you discuss a current oddity. Why has the book Fifty Shades of Grey reached such a crest of popularity? It’s badly written, the characters—such as they are—are unsympathetic, and the plot pushes women into a role we’ve spent centuries changing. The heroine is clueless, a willing victim to a hero who is cruel, scarred and without a single redeeming virtue. Yet the female readers of this mishmash are wild about it and have made it an ongoing best seller. I’d like your opinion on why that has happened and if the book’s popularity does say something about the women of today. Thanks for the insight you give us all.
Phae
Dear Phae,
There’s a term for opining about books one has not read: bullcrit. And I’ve thus far avoided writing about Shades because I prefer reviewing a) science books and b) books I’ve actually read.
But numerous thought-full letters like yours point to the possible Human Universals, aka Evolved Mating Psychology, lying between the covers of The Shades. So bullcrit, here we come—with science I’ve actually read to back it up, of course.
And could you do me a favor? Please envision me with my wrist swept dramatically across my forehead during this entire article, or alternately, with a torn bodice and freshly-bitten lips. And for any Wise Readers who really did read Shades, please let me know how close-in or far-out this gets.
“a role we’ve spent centuries changing”
Have we moved beyond the sex roles attributed to Fifty Shades—roles where docile women thrill to the sexual aggression dished out by controlling, powerful men*?
Well, in my lifetime, admittedly just shy of several centuries’ duration, the USA has changed from a nation where most people thought a husband could not sexually assault his wife because marriage implied constant consent, to one in which laws recognize a woman’s right to say no, no matter what. In real life and real research, American women say they hate sexual aggression more than anything else a man can do, including battering and verbal abuse. And they’re not fond of battering and verbal abuse.
Yet women are reading Shades, and not by force; as of this writing, the trilogy sweeps all three of the top sales positions in four categories on the NYT bestseller list. Shades hits a lot of nerves—many of them clitoral. How much progress could that imply?
“a hero who is cruel, scarred and without a single redeeming virtue”
Let’s start by acknowledging two things:
Thing 1: Whoever said women don’t watch porn because we’d rather read it has a point. There is porn for women, and it’s called The Romance Novel. And just as porn for men outsells all other forms of media—combined, every year—, porn for women outsells other kinds of books.
Thing 2: In a shocking discovery, scientists have found that women distinguish between fantasy and reality. The implications of fantasy may be numerous and nefarious, but women are aware of hating forced sexual acts in real life that some lust for in imagination.
And it’s soooo predictable. Because The Romance Novel is formulaic; just as male porn caters very specifically to men’s sexual fantasies, female porn caters to women’s.
And I’ll bet you a whole dollar that Shades embodies at least a few of these scientifically-established aspects of women’s fantasized lust:
—A hero who is rich, rich, rich.
—And powerful, powerful, powerful; a castle or dynasty or corporation in his name is always a plus.
—Oh, and very good-looking.
See, those are three redeeming virtues right there, at least as far as women’s global preferences go. In research, some women even acknowledge fantasizing about rape—but not with the asymmetrical peasant. They instead cogitate on the guy with the goods, the man who can provide for and protect them from everyone but him, all while giving good Genes his great looks can confer to prospective offspring.
—In women’s fantasies, there can be other suitors who exist to boost the woman’s worth in Our Hero’s eyes; indeed, it’s a common ploy of romance novels (This is also why the Heroine is typically a young, beautiful, independent-minded virgin.). But in most women’s fantasies and in the books, the women themselves are choosing Just One Guy as the true object of lust and love. Women can usually only have one offspring per year regardless of how many men they bed, yes? Well, female fantasies usually reflect that proclivity for A Relationship with One Provider, instead of the typical male fantasy of No Relationships But Many Conquests.
—More importantly, in the novels, Our Hero is focused only on Our Heroine~or he soon will be. Sure, he could and likely has had any woman he wanted, being the universally sought hottie he is. But in her fantasy and her romance novels, Our Heroine is special, singular, worthy of his wholly focused pursuit. He gives up having the world to make *her* his world, doing whatever it takes to utterly conquer her heart and hind. For women, commitment and monogamy are sizzling, signaling not just that this guy is Rich, Powerful, and Good Looking, but that he’s giving 100% of that great stuff just to this one woman and any kids they might have.
—Love and signs of commitment play starring roles in female fantasy—but so does His Personality. The guy can be dastardly. Brooding. Silent—or nearly so. Difficult. Caddish. Mysterious. His past is riddled with sin. But underneath all of that, way, way down deep, he is just a wounded soul who will be made whole and good by the Love of One Woman. Sure, maybe nobody else will ever see it… (See why women can take a while to give up on an abuser in real life.)
—The Hero initially tells himself he can resist this gorgeous, nubile heroine, but he finds that he cannot; to wit, Mr. Darcy’s awkward proposal to Miss Elizabeth Bennett in the 1700’s. Our Hero may own the free world, but he is Our Heroine’s slave. In fantasy, the woman is so powerful, she overpowers even the most powerful man’s good sense and common virtue; he will give her his All because she’s going to become his Everything. See all points above.
—Oh, and there’s sex, too…usually…at some point… (In the male fantasy, you can skip directly to this.)
“the women of today”
Our emotions today still arise from the ancient past. The fascinating thing isn’t just that women have these fantasies, but that the fantasies’ elemental characteristics are ubiquitous across time, space, and many cultures—giving yet another sign that women’s mating psychology is shared and inherited. It’s not like women envision being overcome by the trash man, unless they’re sexually involved with that exact trash man. No. The guy in the novels, from Pride & Prejudice to Jane Eyre to Wuthering Heights to Twilight to Shades, is That Guy. Developed nations have changed a lot, but Our Hero has maintained persistent characteristics from one generation and one century and one country to the next.
Almost as if the women of today still wanted provision and protection—and Relational signs of it—like their ancestral mothers did. And almost as if being desired by the highly desirable still feels like an ancient form of power.
Upshot? Phae, I can’t tell you why this particular book is outselling others with similar plotlines or far superior writing. But it’s a funny thing about literature. To sell, it can be well-written, politically correct, moral, and logical—but it needn’t be. It just needs to tap into universal themes; themes which are universal because they in turn tap into our inherited psychology.
Cheers,
Duana
*The basic premise of Fifty Shades, per Amazon.com’s Book Description, is this: “When literature student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly, innocent Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms.
“Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success—his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family—Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian Grey’s secrets and explores her own dark desires.”
Do you have a question for Duana? Email her at Duana@LoveScienceMedia.com. Your letter will receive a personal answer, and if it is used on-site, your identity and some details will be altered to maintain your anonymity.
All material copyrighted by Duana C. Welch, Ph.D., and LoveScienceMedia, 2012.
Related LoveScience articles:
Why Porn Is Boring (to women): http://www.lovesciencemedia.com/love-science-media/why-porn-is-boringto-women.html
Men and Porn and Relationships: http://www.lovesciencemedia.com/love-science-media/porn-pastime-or-peril.html
The author wishes to thank the following scientists and sources:
Bruce Ellis and Donald Symons, for their research into men’s and women’s sexual fantasies and the evolutionary psychology underpinning them. If you want to read the article, here’s the citation: Ellis, B. J., & Symons, D. (1990). “Sex differences in sexual fantasy: An evolutionary psychological approach.” Journal of Sex Research, 27, 527-556. Or it’s available for online purchase here: http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/3812772?uid=3739920&uid=2129&uid=2&uid=70&uid=4&uid=3739256&sid=21101128074337
David Buss, as ever, for his outstanding chapter reviewing studies on men’s and women’s fantasies in his book The Evolution Of Desire (Revised Edition).
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Reader Comments (13)
I have read all three of the Gray novels (I'm almost ashamed to say) and Duana, you are spot on. They are poorly written, true. Formulaic...even more true. But you point out exactly what it is women love about these novels. The puzzling thing is why THESE novels more than any others, because they are exactly like the ridiculous bodice rippers I read in high school. My guess is they came along at the right time, in the age of the e-reader, when women could purchase and read them without drawing any unwanted attention from booksellers, friends, or family members. But that's just a hunch.
Love this article, Duana. I started reading the trilogy, but couldn't get past the horrible writing and non-existant plot and so I never finished the first book. I am ashamed to say that I can't help but judge my friends who say they loved it. To each his own, I guess.
I agree with Leslie about why this particular book is so popular. I wouldn't be caught dead with the paperback in my hands, but having it loaded onto my Kindle made it very easy for me to secretly read it in public and in front of my family.
Dr. D: You are spot on. The original question was, "Why are they so popular?" and you resoundingly answered it, research-based as far as women's fantasies. I hadn't realized that's what I was getting into when I began reading. Had I known that's what it was, maybe I could have suspended any reality and enjoyed the ride more. When reading fiction, of any sort, once I lose trust in the author, I have a hard time not picking apart the book. So, maybe you can answer some of my questions. :-)
It is my understanding that, as far as BDSM goes, that often the men that are IRL powerful and wealthy, prefer being the submissive in a D/s relationship. Does research back that up?
Also, and I'm sure this makes books and movies more interesting, but why are the people that are portrayed as participating in the BDSM lifestyle somehow seriously damaged? The movie "Secretary" (well-written and acted), and "50 Shades," I view them both as, essentially, love stories. In "Secretary," the title character was a self-loathing, self-cutting, child of an alcoholic. In "50 Shades of Grey," the title character was a child adopted from a "crack whore" that had cigarette burns on his body (sorry if this a spoiler for anyone). I find it disturbing that the mainstream critique mentality is that those who participate voluntarily in BDSM are somehow portrayed as either being f****d up, or are somehow setting back the women's movement, when really, it's about what turns someone on. BDSM, to me, is basically role play - it doesn't mean that I want to be dominated in real life (even if the roles extend outside the bedroom). Any research on this?
Thank you so much.
Dang, Dr D . . . you tied together a lot of loose ends that I (as a guy) was only dimly acknowledging before.
Thanks ;-)
Dear Leslie, brilliant! I concur with Leah in thinking you're spot on; it's likely a huge propellant of Shades' sales has been its instantaneous, secret accessibility on e-readers.
Why Shades and not some other erotica/romance, though? I'd need to know more about marketing, word-of-mouth, and perhaps even read it to begin to understand... ;).
And Leah, I refused to read Shades but have been intrigued by others' letters about it. I'm not averse to a good fleshly romp, but I am a bit of a writing snob (Jane Eyre and Pride & Prejudice are read almost annually on my Kindle). So from what everyone has said, I'll await a smarter bit of smut, lol.
Tom, I'm happy you liked the article. It was great fun to write, although very difficult to restrain myself from moralizing on the possible downsides of encouraging fantasies about pain.
Which brings me to you, Jackie. I love your letter. And by the way, I loved the movie Secretary and viewed it as you did: essentially a love story between two damaged people. I had wondered if Shades had, er, shades of similarities; and if it does, it makes it far easier for me to see how the trilogy could take off as it has. (Except for the alleged bad writing. That really cannot be borne or excused, can it? Even for millions of pounds? I digress...)
Anyway, to your queries: I am woefully ignorant of all matters BDSM; anecdotally, one reads that people who are into it are otherwise normal folks, no more screwed up than anyone else, and that their relationships are not abusive because they are at the very core consensual. But from a science standpoint, I've got nothin'.
Nothin' except that you're right that if people see BDSM as role play, then they are drawing a line between fantasy and reality. Hence, for example, the notorious 'safe word' that breaks the bond(age); if the cruelty were perceived as real, no word or series of words would be agreed upon as safe. Please keep in mind, though, that's just my opinion. There may well be research on BDSM, but I'm ignorant of it. Could be a good topic for a future article, though, and I thank you for the idea.
Thank you, Dr. D. It just seems that in numerous online critiques of 50 Shades, readers (women) fear that the book's popularity will cause our girls to grow up and seek abusive relationships, or to not see their own self-worth. Evidently, BDSM is underground quite a bit because people greatly misunderstand it, take it for abuse, and practitioners fear losing custody of their children. For me, it's just another way to spice things up within a long-term relationship.
Jackie, I do have to say that I, too, have concerns about the implications of fantasies that involve violence. Or fantasies that leave out violence but just show us relationships that are unrealistic and superior in some ways to our own.
We know from a lot of research that when men watch violent porn (porn with a rape script), the porn causes the men to become more accepting of violence against women, and to think women really mean Yes when they say No. Also, non-violent porn doesn't get a free pass; it causes men to devalue their current real-life relationship, so that they feel less commitment and attraction to their partner as a direct result of watching porn. I use the word 'cause' because these are experiments and thus show cause. (The relevant article is here: http://www.lovesciencemedia.com/love-science-media/porn-pastime-or-peril.html).
What we don't have, to my knowledge, are randomized, controlled experiments about romance novels' impact on women's perceptions of themselves or their relationships. But it's well-known that the overlap between men's and women's psyches is much greater than the difference. It would seem unrealistic to take the proof that men are negatively impacted by repeated exposure to their own fantasies writ large, and then say that women are not affected by romance novels.
Also, in social psychology experiments, it's well-known that anytime we expose a person to those who have it better than they themselves--better car, better home, better anything--then the person becomes less happy with what they have. It's called upward social comparison, and it's a great way to make people miserable and discontented with what they have. Fantasies in movies, books, porn...all of them are showing us 'better-than' scenarios.
My guess? Fifty Shades is probably titillating in the moment, but none to healthy thereafter for those who want to love their sex life and their partner as-is. Impossible standards are just that. Loving what is, as long as it's got a lot of kindness and respect, is far better for our heads, hearts, and other parts.
Quoted from your article: "He gives up having the world to make *her* his world, doing whatever it takes to utterly conquer her heart and hind."
____
Please tell me this is not a typo . . . because if it *is*, you're brilliant even when being unintentional ;-)
MWAHAHAHAHA!
No, Tom, that wasn't a typo ;). Glad you enjoyed it.
Dr. D, I agree with what you've written, and already knew the effects of porn on relationships, and certainly do not advocate violence (I find sexualized violence especially abhorrent). But what actually happened in the book seemed pretty "light" - mostly a head game about toys, and saying,"Yes, Sir," for example. The fact that he was dysfunctional when it came to relationships is not a surprise to me, not even considering his tragic early childhood. As a society, we have few models of good relationships to imitate, and, IMO, this is even more widespread today. Heck, I think I'd be more worried about my tween girl YouTubing "how to lap dance" and making a DIY video on her phone, and putting it on the web. Meanwhile, I'll model a healthy loving relationship, and keep my toys hidden.
Jackie, agreed on all points. This whole thing sounds like an adult version of Twilight--an experience where you just want the girl to get a life, already, and for the writing to please, please improve. But I read Twilight before writing that comment, and still haven't read Shades...
So the ultimate fantasy is to combine the types women are attracted to. Bad boys produce the babies that go out and spread your genes around like crazy. Good guys protect and feed their babies. So find a bad boy, make him a good guy by the sheer strength of your womanly amazingness, and you've got both in one handy package.
Evolution is a bitch.
Dear M.M..
Pretty much!