The Fisher Personality Test: Do Opposites Attract?

Wise Readers, In response to your many queries, we’ll soon be addressing whether and when *opposites* might attract…and whether they can remain together happily as a complementary pair where each completes the other—or whether the dishes suffer over-much in a union where there’s more friction than function. Which means it’s time to find out what your personality type is—and whether you are now, or have ever been with, someone whose personality differs substantively from your own…

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Q&A from "SETTLING 101: Traits For A Mate"

Wise Readers, Why is starting with love beginning backwards—and what can making a Traits For A Mate List do for you? What if you know what your Standards are, but you’re having a tough time sticking to them? What (incorrect) cultural messages encourage us to Settle for matches that won’t work? What happened to Readers who stuck by their standards in the past—and those who didn’t? Why do people resist making The List? And how detailed should it be? What about complementary traits—don’t opposites attract, too? Read on! Cheers, Duana

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SETTLING 101: Traits For A Mate

Dear Duana, I’m dating Viv, a woman who is never satisfied with what I can give….I love her, but I’m unhappy and I don’t think this will change. Am I being too picky and tossing away my best shot at love if I leave, or is staying settling? Should I find someone I mesh with better? Dear Charles, Dating is the time to pick the one who makes your heart sing, not the one who’s got you singin’ the blues. Although it’s tempting to advise dropping this relationship like a dinnertime telemarketer, *you* are the expert on you and your needs. Let’s leverage that expertise to help you answer your own questions so you can get a relationship that is more joy than job—whether with Viv or someone else….

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Q&A from “Winning Him Back—with Jealousy?”

Our recent column about The Green-Eyed Monster gave way to strategic, ethical, and empirical discussion. Should women reveal it to their friend if using that friend to make someone else jealous? What are the four Warning Signs that jealousy should *not* be used—and how can jealousy be leveraged with emotional intelligence? Why don’t women just tell the truth when they want someone? What if you’re the man who was caught in the cross-hairs and lived to resent it; are women merely toying with you? Read on!

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Winning Him Back—with Jealousy?

After three happy years with my first love, I ruined things by turning clingy, depressed and negative when we moved apart for grad school. Not surprisingly, he eventually broke it off, and I actually begged him to return. We now live in the same city, know the same people, and often see one another at art galleries, the theater, etc. How do I ease the awkwardness between us, let him see I’m the woman he fell in love with, and win him back? Dear Cait, Oh, the I-cringe-at-my-own-past-desperate-behavior feeling! We’ve all been there. Yet precisely because you tried so hard to hang onto Dan back then, it’s imperative that you do *nothing* to ease the tension now. In fact, I’d suggest increasing the awkwardness…

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