Her Cheatin’ Heart: Infidelity’s aftermath

Dear Duana, Two years ago, my wife’s wandering attention prompted me to scope phone records, where I found many lengthy calls to another man. Although she claims it was only emotional, my gut says otherwise…Do I divorce her, or is there some way to quit feeling so jealous and angry, forgive her and prevent this from happening again? Dear Tristan, As Dr. David Buss says, eliminating your jealousy “…would be like smashing a smoke alarm to solve the problem of a house fire. Successful coping requires dealing with the fire.” You sensed emotional heat at a minimum—and perhaps a full-on sexual blaze. And you stopped it. But what now?…

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Comments from "When Men Wait For Sex"

As of today, I’ll be sending you the comments section from the most recent highly-commented-on post from Love Science on the off-weeks when an original Love Science column is not posted. This way, you won’t miss a thing—-and you *will* get what amount to follow-up Love Science articles. Because as you’ll see, readers and I continue the discussion together from a science-based point of view that keeps in mind their, and perhaps your, personal concerns. And now: Reader comments from “When Men Wait For Sex”…

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When Men Wait For Sex: Dumb like a fox

Dear Duana, I’ve had a lot of luck with women, sexually speaking. But I’ve also gotten bored and restless pretty fast afterwards. I’d like to find something long-term with the right woman, and I’m considering waiting to put on the moves. Everything in my body and half my brain says I’m crazy to even think it. Am I the only guy with this issue? And is waiting for sex ever smart for a man? Dear Kyle: Yes, I hear the voices, too—The Genes Of Your Ancestors are screaming your insanity for putting off ‘til tomorrow what and whom you could be doing today. But you’re not crazy. And what you’re suggesting is dumb like a fox…

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Put A Ring On It: Trial separation versus trial marriage

Scientifically speaking, here’s what most women think at move-in: “I wonder when we’re getting married.” And most men think: “I wonder what’s on TV.” Ironically, women are choosing cohabitation now more than at any point in prior Western history—hoping for marriage while doing the very thing that undermines the likelihood of getting it. Be warned: Science shows that most men are inherently more reluctant to commit, and moving in before setting the wedding date hurts your chances of ever having him Put A Ring On It. But there’s still something you can do; here’s what and why.

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Commitment--Or Lack Thereof: The trouble with shacking up

“No. Not just no, Heck No!” Wise Readers, that’s what you felt about a Pete/Tina shack-up, per the recent Folk Wisdom inquiry. Through it, 41 readers anonymously submitted advice about a real couple in their mid-20’s with three years of dating and a desire to move in. But whereas Tina saw cohabiting as Engagement Lite, Pete viewed it more like a car lot—where test driving now can prevent owning a lemon later. Yet the majority who advised against a Pete/Tina move-in tended to approve cohabitation generally. Which brings us to a deeper question: Is cohabitation helpful in general—for most people on the path to choosing a mate?

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