Men as Success Objects: Or, why a man’s job is to have a (good) job

Dear Duana, I’m back with my former boyfriend, but an issue from our break-up remains: He works for his mom and does not seemed inspired to do more. Will this always bother me? Dear Janie, ITE (In This Economy), there are plenty of folks who are un- or under-employed through no fault of their own, despite strident efforts. But there’s no sugar-coating this: Male lack of ambition is a huge, universal and global female turn-off. Why that is so, and whether it has to ruin your relationship with Dave, are separate issues…

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Q&A from “Solving Your Unsolvable Problems: What happy couples know”

Wise Readers, Happy couples: What have they got that others haven’t? Where’s the fine line between Irreconcilable Differences and the “brand of crazy” you can live with? And how did our own happy couples find the path to Being Happy Anyway? Read on!

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Solving Your Unsolvable Problems: What happy couples know

Wise Readers, It’s a fact: For any given couple,* happy or not*, 69% of our troubles will never go away. Yet behind that depressing news is a remarkably liberating implication: You don’t have to solve your problems to be happy…

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Q&A from "SETTLING 101: Traits For A Mate"

Wise Readers, Why is starting with love beginning backwards—and what can making a Traits For A Mate List do for you? What if you know what your Standards are, but you’re having a tough time sticking to them? What (incorrect) cultural messages encourage us to Settle for matches that won’t work? What happened to Readers who stuck by their standards in the past—and those who didn’t? Why do people resist making The List? And how detailed should it be? What about complementary traits—don’t opposites attract, too? Read on! Cheers, Duana

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SETTLING 101: Traits For A Mate

Dear Duana, I’m dating Viv, a woman who is never satisfied with what I can give….I love her, but I’m unhappy and I don’t think this will change. Am I being too picky and tossing away my best shot at love if I leave, or is staying settling? Should I find someone I mesh with better? Dear Charles, Dating is the time to pick the one who makes your heart sing, not the one who’s got you singin’ the blues. Although it’s tempting to advise dropping this relationship like a dinnertime telemarketer, *you* are the expert on you and your needs. Let’s leverage that expertise to help you answer your own questions so you can get a relationship that is more joy than job—whether with Viv or someone else….

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