A Happy Former Client Shares His Journey

“Is there a science to love, or are we all just wandering aimlessly in the dating wilderness? I will show you 5 science backed insights.

My own dating journey was fraught with missteps and self-imposed narratives. As a pharmacist, I blamed my profession was the reason behind my dating failures because I believe “women like medical doctors better”. This narrative persisted through medical school and even as a full-fledged physician. “It’s the busy hours being a doctor” I’d tell myself. But in 2018, a realization hit me: I needed dating help, badly…

Enter Duana Welch. Her book, “Love Factually”, was a revelation; Duana was my Morpheus! I read her book and asked her to coach me. She didn’t just show me the science; she guided me on a journey of self-discovery.

We accomplished the following:
- Dissected my failed dating experiences
- Identified my must-haves and wants
- Charted a new path forward

“Love Factually” gave me 5 science backed key insights:

1. Attachment Style Compatibility: Understand your own attachment style and that of your potential partner to determine if you are a good match.

2. Core Values: Identify and discuss your core values with your potential partner to ensure you share similar beliefs and principles.

3. Emotional Intelligence: Develop your emotional intelligence to better understand and manage your own emotions and those of your partner.

4. Personality Type Compatibility: Assess your personality type and that of your potential partner to determine if you complement each other.

5. Communication: Establish open and honest communication with your potential partner to build trust and resolve conflicts effectively.

The result? Two years of blissful marriage with my wonderful wife, Alexandra, a compassionate physician and soon-to-be mother (see photo). Our love story is a testament to the power of introspection and guidance. This is not a happy ending; it is a HAPPY JOURNEY.

I give “Love Factually” and Duana Welch together a solid 10/10. Not just for evidence-based approach to dating, but for its emphasis on self-awareness. If you’re struggling in any aspect of life, remember this: seeking a coach can be the catalyst for profound change and success.

Read “Love Factually” and talk to Duana Welch.”

Infinite Learning… Infinite Possibilities…

 —Jerry Hu, DO., PharmD.

Jerry & Alexandra

***Want more love in your life? Whether you’re single, partnered, or questioning anything about relationships, get coaching with Dr. Duana Welch, the original Love Scientist:

 http://www.lovesciencemedia.com/consult/

#duanawelch

#LoveFactually

#LoveFactuallyRevisedandUpdated

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#datingcoachingformen

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#datingadviceformen

#datingadvice

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Why Get Married?

Overseen: 

“Why, at our age [50+], do people get married? And especially those who are financially secure? And even those who are not financially secure. If he’s generous he’ll still be generous married or not. If he’s stingy…well. you realize you’re probably being smarter living with them?”

Here’s why:

Because most people are so much happier married than single. 

Happily married folks are a whopping 545% likelier to say they’re very happy in their lives, generally, than people who are living any other way (research out of U. Chicago, June 2023). 

And decades of studies show that married people in general (even those who aren’t especially happily wed—they’re married but not excited about it) are about a third happier than people who are cohabiting or single! 

It’s rare to find lasting stability in adulthood; for most people—men and women alike—marriage provides that friendship and support more than anything else does. 

Examples: 

*friends don’t move with you when you retire or get a new job

*cohabiters either marry or quit each other in just a handful of years, if that (yes, I know it’s popular to say cohabiting is basically the same but with easy exit: I will agree when science does), and 

*cohabiters rarely provide life insurance, but married people nearly always protect each other not only for their lives together, but even after death (yes, generous humans are generous in general—but not to nearly the extent they are once married). 

The married live longer,

have less illness,

accumulate more wealth,

progress further in their careers (including women in their careers),

their kids do better in nearly every way,

they have someone to do things with,

the sex is better and more abundant (singlehood is *the* biggest predictor of being celibate, which is awesome if sex is no longer something desired, but not nearly as fun if it’s still important)…and

the sex is more emotionally as well as physically satisfying.

As Dr. Linda J. Waite, one of the foremost scientists on how marriage and cohabiting differ, says, “What else is left, except maybe beauty?” 

I think there are many reasons people 50+ decide to remain single, though. For instance, some were happily wed and feel that that love was enough. Fair enough! And I’m happy for those who know they’re happy without marriage, and those who cohabit because they get how cohabiting is its own institution—not marriage-lite—and that’s exactly what they want. 

But for those who are afraid of ruining their lives by (re)marrying: Finding a great partner is not a crapshoot— there are over 80 years of good science behind how to do it. 

I have now spent nearly 30 years helping people find and keep the love of their lives, using science.

And when I was single again at age 52, I did it—for me! I’ve never been happier. Our first anniversary is in two weeks! 

I knew I would find him, because most women my age either weren’t looking or didn’t know what they were doing…so even though there are more women than men at every decade past midlife, from a dating standpoint, there really weren’t and aren’t. 

Love is amazing.

Knowledge is power.

Science for the win!

***Want more love in your life? Whether you’re single, partnered, or questioning anything about relationships, get coaching with Dr. Duana Welch, the original Love Scientist!:

 http://www.lovesciencemedia.com/consult/

#duanawelch

#LoveFactually

#LoveFactuallyRevisedandUpdated

#datingcoaching

#datingcoachingforwomen

#datingcoachingformen

#datingadviceforwomen

#datingadviceformen

#datingadvice

#onlinedatingcoach

#relationshipcoaching

#datingcoachingage50plus

 

 Us on our wedding day in 2022

Companies Use Science To Predict Your Love Life. Shouldn't You?

Can science predict your lovelife? The world’s largest diamond sellers know it does, and they bank on it. Because it works. !

https://www.cnn.com/2023/09/17/business/signet-proposals-comeback-2024/index.html

“[CEO Virginia] Drosos said Signet is able to closely track the yearly engagement cycle because of its customer data platform.

“”It’s our [45] proprietary signals that tell how couples are progressing through the 3.25 years from when they meet to when they get engaged,” she said. “We have 14 million people right now in the dating funnel that we can identify in our database. Around 2.1 million couples will get engaged this year and we have significantly more people that we see in the dating funnel that we are now tracking into 2024.”

***Why should companies benefit from the information that should be helping YOU? Let coaching with the original Love Scientist bring more love to your life!***

Whether you’re single, partnered, or questioning anything about relationships, get coaching with Dr. Duana Welch:
http://www.lovesciencemedia.com/consult/

#duanawelch
#LoveFactually
#LoveFactuallyRevisedandUpdated
#datingcoaching
#datingcoachingforwomen
#datingcoachingformen
#datingadviceforwomen
#datingadviceformen
#datingadvice
#onlinedatingcoach
#relationshipcoaching

Why More People Are Dating At Age 50-Plus

Did you know? Increasingly, people are dating at age 50+. (In fact, I’ve begun writing Love Factually at Midlife and Beyond for just this reason!) 

Why so many single folks post-50? Gray divorce and widowhood. 

Over a third of the people who divorce in the USA now are over age 50. It’s the fastest-growing group of divorced folks in our country. 

And on average, married women are widowed at age 59—and half of those will outlive their spouse by 15-30 years!!! This being an average, this means some widows are much younger than 59, with more single years ahead. 

Most adjust and remain single; many prefer it. And that’s a perfect solution if singlehood is the goal! 

But for the rest: *That’s a lot of single years.* No wonder that although my clients range from their 20s to 70s, most are in their 50s and 60s!

So: 

If you or someone you know is a relationship person; 

if you or they know you’re meant to be partnered; 

if you or they are wondering about the challenges of repartnering after losses like these, 

this podcast episode is for you! 

And that’s why I’m thrilled to be the guest on this brand-new episode in Tendrils of Grief, hosted by Susan Ways, who found herself unexpectedly widowed in her early 50s. 

Tune into the FULL episode on Spotify: https://spotify.link/ZLIeOJsn0Cb

 
I would love to hear how this episode impacted you. Please let me know your top takeaways. Enjoy!

Sources of stats: US Census Bureau; Journals of Gerontology; Pew

Want more love in your life? Whether you’re single, partnered, or questioning anything about relationships, get coaching with Dr. Duana Welch:

 http://www.lovesciencemedia.com/consult/

#duanawelch

#LoveFactually

#LoveFactuallyRevisedandUpdated

#datingcoaching

#datingcoachingforwomen

#datingcoachingformen

#datingadviceforwomen

#datingadviceformen

#datingadvice

#onlinedatingcoach

#relationshipcoaching

Who Fights The Fairest Of Them All?

Wise Readers,

Are lesbian and gay relationships different from heterosexuals’ relationships?

Dr. Bob Levenson and Dr. John Gottman’s 12-year study shows that these relationships are *mostly* the same.

But when they aren’t, the differences show that straight couples can learn from gay and lesbian couples: 

*”Gay/lesbian couples are more upbeat in the face of conflict. Compared to straight couples, gay and lesbian couples use more affection and humor when they bring up a disagreement, and partners are more positive in how they receive it. Gay and lesbian couples are also more likely to remain positive after a disagreement. “When it comes to emotions, we think these couples may operate with very different principles than straight couples. Straight couples may have a lot to learn from gay and lesbian relationships,” explains Gottman.”

*”Gay/lesbian couples use fewer controlling, hostile emotional tactics. Gottman and Levenson also discovered that gay and lesbian partners display less belligerence, domineering, and fear with each other than straight couples do. “The difference on these ‘control’ related emotions suggests that fairness and power-sharing between the partners is more important and more common in gay and lesbian relationships than in straight ones,” Gottman explained.”

*”In a fight, gay and lesbian couples take it less personally. In straight couples, it is easier to hurt a partner with a negative comment than to make one’s partner feel good with a positive comment. This appears to be reversed in gay and lesbian couples. Gay and lesbian partners’ positive comments have more impact on feeling good, while their negative comments are less likely to produce hurt feelings. “This trend suggests that gay and lesbian partners have a tendency to accept some degree of negativity without taking it personally,” observes Gottman.”

*”Unhappy gay and lesbian couples tend to show low levels of “physiological arousal.” This is just the reverse for straight couples. For straights, physiological arousal signifies ongoing aggravation. The ongoing aroused state—including elevated heart rate, sweaty palms, and jitteriness—means partners have trouble calming down in the face of conflict. For gay and lesbian couples this lower level of arousal shows that they are able to soothe one another.”

Article source: 

https://www.gottman.com/about/research/same-sex-couples/

The original research article: 

https://www.johngottman.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Observing-Gay-Lesbian-and-heterosexual-Couples-Relationships-Mathematical-modeling-of-conflict-interactions.pdf

Want more love in your life? Whether you’re single, partnered, or questioning anything about relationships, get science-based coaching with Dr. Duana Welch:

 http://www.lovesciencemedia.com/consult/

#duanawelch

#LoveFactually

#LoveFactuallyRevisedandUpdated

#datingcoaching

#datingcoachingforwomen

#datingcoachingformen

#datingadviceforwomen

#datingadviceformen

#datingadvice

#onlinedatingcoach

#relationshipcoaching