Overseen:
“Why, at our age [50+], do people get married? And especially those who are financially secure? And even those who are not financially secure. If he’s generous he’ll still be generous married or not. If he’s stingy…well. you realize you’re probably being smarter living with them?”
Here’s why:
Because most people are so much happier married than single.
Happily married folks are a whopping 545% likelier to say they’re very happy in their lives, generally, than people who are living any other way (research out of U. Chicago, June 2023).
And decades of studies show that married people in general (even those who aren’t especially happily wed—they’re married but not excited about it) are about a third happier than people who are cohabiting or single!
It’s rare to find lasting stability in adulthood; for most people—men and women alike—marriage provides that friendship and support more than anything else does.
Examples:
*friends don’t move with you when you retire or get a new job
*cohabiters either marry or quit each other in just a handful of years, if that (yes, I know it’s popular to say cohabiting is basically the same but with easy exit: I will agree when science does), and
*cohabiters rarely provide life insurance, but married people nearly always protect each other not only for their lives together, but even after death (yes, generous humans are generous in general—but not to nearly the extent they are once married).
The married live longer,
have less illness,
accumulate more wealth,
progress further in their careers (including women in their careers),
their kids do better in nearly every way,
they have someone to do things with,
the sex is better and more abundant (singlehood is *the* biggest predictor of being celibate, which is awesome if sex is no longer something desired, but not nearly as fun if it’s still important)…and
the sex is more emotionally as well as physically satisfying.
As Dr. Linda J. Waite, one of the foremost scientists on how marriage and cohabiting differ, says, “What else is left, except maybe beauty?”
I think there are many reasons people 50+ decide to remain single, though. For instance, some were happily wed and feel that that love was enough. Fair enough! And I’m happy for those who know they’re happy without marriage, and those who cohabit because they get how cohabiting is its own institution—not marriage-lite—and that’s exactly what they want.
But for those who are afraid of ruining their lives by (re)marrying: Finding a great partner is not a crapshoot— there are over 80 years of good science behind how to do it.
I have now spent nearly 30 years helping people find and keep the love of their lives, using science.
And when I was single again at age 52, I did it—for me! I’ve never been happier. Our first anniversary is in two weeks!
I knew I would find him, because most women my age either weren’t looking or didn’t know what they were doing…so even though there are more women than men at every decade past midlife, from a dating standpoint, there really weren’t and aren’t.
Love is amazing.
Knowledge is power.
Science for the win!
***Want more love in your life? Whether you’re single, partnered, or questioning anything about relationships, get coaching with Dr. Duana Welch, the original Love Scientist!:
http://www.lovesciencemedia.com/consult/
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Us on our wedding day in 2022