Kiss-N-Tell? Part 2: What to say and how to say it when you've got a (sexual or other) Secret

Dear Duana, While I am way past having any Secrets 18 years post-wedding, I still have to wonder if there are any guidelines for the telling process. What kind of opening do you look for? By phone, by email, in person? And what if the newly acquired knowledge induces a screaming hairy cat fit in the other person? Dear Greystoke’s Mom, as it happens, the array of acceptable telling options may surprise you…

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Kiss-N-Tell? How to time telling our (Sexual & Other) Secrets to a new partner

Dear Cleo,In your letter, you want to tell your new date about your permanent but non-life-threatening STI*. You’re just leery of the timing. Many of us also have Secrets, parts of our health or history we know we’d need to tell any new partner…someday. But what day? Thanks to our survey respondents and empirical help, here are some guidelines that should stand all of us in good stead:

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Folk Wisdom: When to tell our secrets to a new partner?

Dear Duana,I’ve got a sexually transmitted disease, and I’m worried I’ll either scare the guy away by telling him, or he’ll feel I’ve kept a secret from him if I wait too long to tell. What’s the right timing? Dear Cleo, If I had a nickel for every time I got the “When do I tell my secret?” question, I’d have more than $2.35. Most of us have personal issues that are important to our sense of self as well as the development of a relationship. Yet science hasn’t fully answered your question yet, so Wise Readers, will you help by taking this brief 6-item survey? https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/S25S85V

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Q&A from "Sex & The (Happily) Single Girl"

Friends With Benefits—why does that so often fail in practice—and why don’t honest discussions prevent the train wreck? Can condoms harm emotional attachment in a long-term relationship? Does social science affirm many religions’ sexual teachings—or not? Was virginity ‘til marriage ever the norm? Read on!

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Help Me Heal My Broken Heart

Wise Readers, in an ironic twist of fate, this time the Love Scientist had the broken heart; I’ve just yesterday undergone open heart surgery to repair my mitral valve. And now I am lying in hospital, well-supplied with consciousness-altering drugs. But as I come to, could you help me heal by sending your words of support and encouragement?… Read on.

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