You've gotta be happy alone to be happy with someone else. Or do you?

Wise Readers, 

Do you have to be happy by yourself to be ready for love with a partner? Why—or why not? Today’s article appears at eHarmony:

http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/about-you/true-or-false-before-you-can-be-happy-with-someone-else-you-have-to-be-happy-by-yourself/#.VBj960v4vwI

See you next week!

Cheers,

Duana

Comments

[Julian]

You know, I'm really glad to hear someone else say this. I think a lot of people, not necessarily out of any malicious intent but out of a misguided attempt to "help" because they don't really know what else to say, tend to downplay this question.

I speak from experience when I say that it's incredibly easy to get discouraged and frustrated.

So. Incredibly. Easy.

That's the point where well meaning friends and/or family come in and repeat the hackneyed "learn to [love/like/live] with yourself" line. To me, that's equivalent to...say... taking a nosedive off a bike, breaking an arm--like the bent in the wrong way type of broken--, and then having someone take you out for ice cream.

I really like ice cream. But a reasonable person would want that arm tended to.

[Duana C. Welch, Ph.D.]

Julian~ So well-said. This was a huge peeve of mine when I was single. We want what we want, vis-a-vis connection, because we truly need it. Telling folks to be happy by themselves is deeply disheartening.