Q&A from “WHEN OPPOSITES ATTRACT: Happily or Crabbily Ever After?”

Wise Readers, If opposites attract, why is similarity so much easier? And what can be done to convince your head *and* heart that his/her personality isn’t…personal? How accurate are we at discerning our own personality? Would others know our type? What about introverts with extroverts, or worriers with calm people—how does that work? And…what if your Opposite is just plain mean and disrespectful to you? Read on! Cheers, Duana

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WHEN OPPOSITES ATTRACT: Happily or Crabbily Ever After?

Dear Duana,I love my husband, but I’m demonstrative and affectionate and affirming, and Sean…isn’t. Is there any research about opposites attracting, or whether complementary personalities can cause more problems than they solve? Dear Nina, Sounds like you’ve got a classic Gap going on—where one person prefers soul-searching intimacy, and the other prefers that when he said he loves you (at your wedding), that should stand for the Remainder Of Time. Common in male-female relationships, I suspect the Gap is often based in a specific personality pairing you and Sean may have…

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Q&A from "SETTLING 101: Traits For A Mate"

Wise Readers, Why is starting with love beginning backwards—and what can making a Traits For A Mate List do for you? What if you know what your Standards are, but you’re having a tough time sticking to them? What (incorrect) cultural messages encourage us to Settle for matches that won’t work? What happened to Readers who stuck by their standards in the past—and those who didn’t? Why do people resist making The List? And how detailed should it be? What about complementary traits—don’t opposites attract, too? Read on! Cheers, Duana

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Q&A from “Winning Him Back—with Jealousy?”

Our recent column about The Green-Eyed Monster gave way to strategic, ethical, and empirical discussion. Should women reveal it to their friend if using that friend to make someone else jealous? What are the four Warning Signs that jealousy should *not* be used—and how can jealousy be leveraged with emotional intelligence? Why don’t women just tell the truth when they want someone? What if you’re the man who was caught in the cross-hairs and lived to resent it; are women merely toying with you? Read on!

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Winning Him Back—with Jealousy?

After three happy years with my first love, I ruined things by turning clingy, depressed and negative when we moved apart for grad school. Not surprisingly, he eventually broke it off, and I actually begged him to return. We now live in the same city, know the same people, and often see one another at art galleries, the theater, etc. How do I ease the awkwardness between us, let him see I’m the woman he fell in love with, and win him back? Dear Cait, Oh, the I-cringe-at-my-own-past-desperate-behavior feeling! We’ve all been there. Yet precisely because you tried so hard to hang onto Dan back then, it’s imperative that you do *nothing* to ease the tension now. In fact, I’d suggest increasing the awkwardness…

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