All She Wants For Christmas Is A Wedding Date

Dear Duana, All I want for Christmas is to get married or at least engaged. I was hard-to-get at first, but four years later we have a baby girl and still no ring! When I ask if he ever thinks of marrying me, he says yes with a big smile and embraces me, but I’m just wondering…WHEN? Am I being impatient? And what can I do? I read your letter to Helen about becoming high-status, but I can’t just up and leave now that I’m a mom.

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Q&A from “Becoming The High Status Woman”

Wise Readers, As you recall, Helen recently found out how to Get Her Status Back & Her Ring On —by Leaving. But what’s more manipulative—staying or going? Do women Leave to be cruel? Why does Leaving work so well? And is Leaving the only way to regain high status even after you’re married—or is there an easier way? Read on!

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Becoming The High Status Woman: Or, how Helen got her status back & her ring on

Dear Duana, I knew better than to sleep with my boyfriend right away, but I did. I promised myself I would never live with another man unless we were married, but Troy and I were talking marriage, so I moved in. Now –four years later!—no ring is in sight. So how do I become that high status woman now? Is it even possible? (One month later…) Dear Helen Of High Status, In four weeks, you achieved with resolve and bravery what four years of devotion did not…

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Put A Ring On It: Trial separation versus trial marriage

Scientifically speaking, here’s what most women think at move-in: “I wonder when we’re getting married.” And most men think: “I wonder what’s on TV.” Ironically, women are choosing cohabitation now more than at any point in prior Western history—hoping for marriage while doing the very thing that undermines the likelihood of getting it. Be warned: Science shows that most men are inherently more reluctant to commit, and moving in before setting the wedding date hurts your chances of ever having him Put A Ring On It. But there’s still something you can do; here’s what and why.

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Commitment--Or Lack Thereof: The trouble with shacking up

“No. Not just no, Heck No!” Wise Readers, that’s what you felt about a Pete/Tina shack-up, per the recent Folk Wisdom inquiry. Through it, 41 readers anonymously submitted advice about a real couple in their mid-20’s with three years of dating and a desire to move in. But whereas Tina saw cohabiting as Engagement Lite, Pete viewed it more like a car lot—where test driving now can prevent owning a lemon later. Yet the majority who advised against a Pete/Tina move-in tended to approve cohabitation generally. Which brings us to a deeper question: Is cohabitation helpful in general—for most people on the path to choosing a mate?

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