Pop Quiz! What's the length of time you would avoid taking a new lover to places where a former flame might be?

Wise Readers,

Sometimes, folks want your opinion and not mine.  So here’s a question from another reader to you:

What is the length of time you would avoid taking a new lover to places where a former flame might be? 

The Situation: A man has told his new girlfriend that he cannot take her anyplace his ex-gf might be present…to protect the ex’s feelings.

How long ago did they break up? Two years.

Looking forward to your responses!

Cheers,

Duana

Comments

[Kelly]

Spare her feelings? Sweetheart, if it's really been two years since he broke up, the ex has long since moved on. If he still can't bring his new girlfriend around, he's simply not over the "ex". Or perhaps he's still with her.

Either way, he needs some space to sort out his feelings. Give it to him and perhaps find yourself someone who is proud to parade you all over town. :-)

[Elizabeth]

Words from a song "Walk away Joe" (Julie). I've been there, will never be in 'that' relationship again. And, he's protecting his ex girlfriends feelings? Shouldn't he be protecting yours? Really.Value yourself enough to walk away. Proudly.

[Me]

I'll make this brief, but there is a lot I feel like i could say here. I think my ex is doing a good job of keeping her boyfriend out of my life. It may not always be that way, but since a serious depressive episode precipitated our breakup, I think she is walking gingerly for a reason that I appreciate. I feel like some of the comments I have seen regarding this topic do not take into account that there is not always an ulterior motive to making an effort to show kindness to your ex in small ways like this one! Just a counterpoint. I'm sure it does not apply to all situations.

[Mocha's Mom]

Long Answer: If there is a specific reason for avoiding the ex, e.g. a restraining order, then he needs to share that honestly. I suspect that he is still with the supposed "ex" or trying to still be with her. Or he is emotionally attached to the ex to the point where he doesn't realize his presence doesn't mean anything to said ex anymore. At any rate, this is not a good sign. He's certainly not ready to give any woman (other than the ex) any kind of real attention and commitment. I wouldn't go out with him unless/until he was ready to go to those places without caveats.

Short answer: Run. Like pantyhose in a briar patch.

[M Blue Livesay]

At least long enough to start my car's ignition.