Entries in Sexuality (81)

Monday
Apr262010

Becoming The High Status Woman: Or, how Helen got her status back & her ring on

Dear Duana, I knew better than to sleep with my boyfriend right away, but I did. I promised myself I would never live with another man unless we were married, but Troy and I were talking marriage, so I moved in. Now –four years later!—no ring is in sight. So how do I become that high status woman now? Is it even possible? (One month later…) Dear Helen Of High Status, In four weeks, you achieved with resolve and bravery what four years of devotion did not…

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Wednesday
Jan272010

Q&A for "When Love Stinks"

Wise Readers, Refusing or seeking a mate because of smell: It’s normal for women. But readers were left with questions: Do people with specific genetic profiles choose specific kinds of colognes? Why do men fall in love using their eyes—women, their noses? What if someone rich, powerful and good-looking stinks—can women overlook (oversmell?) that? And what role do factors like anti-depressants, age, diet and sexual orientation play in smell and sexual attraction? Read on! Cheers, Duana

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Monday
Nov092009

Q&A from “Hard-To-Get? Mating-Centrism and Other Pitfalls of Early Dating”

Do all men live in hierarchy—seeking status and needing cues of elusiveness to emotionally connect? Are some guys scared off or disgusted by women who are hard-to-get? What happens if you’ve got dates with two different guys on a weekend—and they ask what you’re doing when not with them? Is H2G the same thing as Being A Bitch? Is it possible to be *too* hard-to-get? And what if you want to learn to be H2G—but aren’t sure you can? Read on!

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Monday
Nov022009

Hard-To-Get? Mating-Centrism and Other Pitfalls Of Early Dating

Dear Duana, I’m a therapist with a question about my client, “Suzy”. After just three weeks of dating “Steve”, she’s already refusing to see others, but he hasn’t said anything about their being exclusive. I know this is the wrong strategy for finding a good man, but I don’t know what to tell her about why, and what she should say and do instead. Any advice? Dear Therese, You’re absolutely right. If she wants anything long-term later, Suzy needs to keep dating others now, and more than that—she needs to say so to Steve. But I’ll bet Suzy doesn’t see it that way. She probably thinks dating others will turn Steve away, feels dishonest about dating around, wants to avoid hurting his feelings by showing him a clear path ahead, and hopes that by showing early commitment, she can influence Steve to reciprocate. Unfortunately, that’s wrong x 4.

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Wednesday
Oct142009

Comments from “Passionate Kisses: Too much to ask?”

Wise Readers, Your resounding response to the Passionate Kisses column? No!—It’s not too much to ask! Beyond that, you had questions: Why is the husband’s (but not wife’s) memory for courtship such an important predictor of whether a marriage will last? Is there a distinction between emotional and physical passion—and can either one last forever? What if you’ve got a permanent relationship problem—can you still be happy? Read on!

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