LF SINGLE PARENT SURVEY RESULTS:
Thank you, everyone who took/shared the Love Factually Single Parent survey. Your generous responses have helped shape the plan for the upcoming book! Here are the results, by the numbers:
—Number of respondents:
74
—Gender of respondents:
71% female
29% male
—Age:
44% 40-49
24% 50-59
13% 31-39
11% 60+
6% 25-30
1% under 25
—Living arrangement:
59% single parent;
23% adult child of single parent
16% have been single parent and were parented by a single parent
11% former single parent
—Whether in a long-term relationship now:
33% are not dating at all right now
20% are dating one person long-term (but not cohabiting)
14% are married
11% are dating but aren’t exclusive even if they would like to be
10% are dating casually
6% are cohabiting
6% other
—If you are or have been a single parent, what challenges do you want a book like this to address? (Check all that apply.) (Presented in order of most common response)
*When to introduce kids to someone you’re dating (76%)
*How to quickly determine whether a new partner is safe for you and for your child(ren) (71%)
*How to handle adult sleepovers/navigating time for sex (68%)
*How to set boundaries with your new partner about their involvement with your child(ren) (68%)
*How to tell whether your new relationship is workable, or not (67%)
*How to move forward together when you’re both sure: Yes! This is it! (64%)
*How to meet people when your schedule is tight (54%)
*When to introduce one another’s kids to each other (52%)
*Overcoming poor self-esteem related to prior partners/your ex (52%)
*How to break up when there are children involved (52%)
*Pros and cons of dating other single parents (50%)
*How (much) to be involved in parenting your new partner’s child(ren) (49%)
*How dating differs before/after children (48%)
*How to heal from a painful relationship with your coparent (child’s other parent) (46%)
*How to deal with guilt if a new relationship does not work out (43%)
*How to deal with your ex now that you’re dating (40%)
*How/when/what to tell your prospective partners about your kids (38%)
*How to break up if you’re cohabiting (31%)
Other: 22% (in no particular order)
Keeping from putting kids in the middle
Dealing with imbalance (one has kids, other doesn’t)
Dating when your kids have special needs/trauma in their past
Dealing with sexual needs when not ready for serious relationship
Whether to have kids with a new partner
Explaining/handling male reluctance to take on a woman with kids
Dealing with your new partner’s ex
Conducting background checks on prospective partners
When to reveal sensitive info (such as depression) to new partner
How to take care of yourself while you’re a single parent
—If at least one of your parents was single and dating while you were in their custody, what challenges do you want a book like this to address? What do you wish your parent(s) had known? (Check all that apply.) (Presented in order of most common response)
*How much voice to give kids in determining whether a romantic relationship is workable (67%)
*How to help the child(ren) deal with their feelings about the single parent’s new partner (61%)
*How to set boundaries with your new partner about their involvement with your child(ren) (55%)
*When to introduce kids to someone you’re dating (48%)
*How to keep from putting the child(ren) in the middle if the ex is asking questions (46%)
*How to quickly determine whether a new partner is safe for the child(ren) (46%)
*How to interact with and trust your child if they say a new partner is hurting them (42%)
*How (much) to be involved in parenting your new partner’s child(ren) (33%)
*How to avoid testing child(ren)’s loyalty to the biological parents (24%)
*How/when/what to tell prospective partners about the child(ren) (27%)
*Pros and cons of dating other single parents (18%)
Other: 33% (in no particular order):
Knowing the signs that someone is wrong or right for you if you had trauma in your past
Helping parents find a healthy balance between own/kids’ needs
Dealing with guilt over own past behavior when single-parenting
Helping the nonparent/stepparent respect appropriate boundaries with partner’s kids
How adult partners can be affectionate without weirding out the kids
Blending finances
Blending chores with the kids
Blending discipline/stepparent role in disciplining the kids
Blending two sets of kids: when they don’t get along; when they get along too well (sex)
Telling the kids if the new relationship doesn’t work
Preventing putting kids in the middle (transfer between houses)
What you can ask your kids about the ex’s new partner
Many Wise Readers additionally took the time to provide comments. These are pure gold that will prove immensely helpful in underscoring all of the above. Thank you for being part of the journey on the way to the first science-based book for single parents looking for love!